I just returned from a week’s vacation in New York City. It was a family vacation and my plan was to first spend a couple of days in Tarrytown, NY before hitting the city. The attraction in Tarrytown is that this town is just 25 miles north of Manhattan on the Hudson River and the estates of Rockefeller (Kykuit) and Gould (Lyndhurst) are there. In addition, the adjacent town of Sleepy Hollow is (of course) the town where Washington Irving lived and the town where his story “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” takes place. The lure for me was to get a tangible connection with Rockefeller and Gould as historical figures that shaped American business. Rockefeller with Standard Oil and Gould with railroads. Plus, I figured it might be relaxing just being out of the 110 degree weather we were leaving behind in Phoenix AZ.
We arrived at JFK Airport on Monday July 1 at 6 AM. Our reservations in Tarrytown were to stay three nights then head to NYC on July 4th. Everything was perfect getting into our ride that I had scheduled and we arrived at Tarrytown House Estate on the Hudson early morning way ahead of plan.
Then things started to get different from the plans I had in my head as to how things should be. The website for Tarrytown House Estate shows a beautiful pool set among stately mansions. Although the mansions and grounds looked exactly like they did on the website – the room itself was almost exactly like any other hotel room I’ve stayed in. Except the toilet was slow and the tub was old. And our view was looking into a courtyard which was nothing special.
While my kids and wife immediately took a nap once they got in the room (since our flight was a red-eye) I decided to walk around and scout things out. Being hungry for breakfast I went over to one of the mansions on the property (called the Biddle Mansion) where the hotel had their breakfast options. The dine in option was a $22 dollar buffet (for $16 dollars you could get the food from the buffet and take it outside the mansion to your room or the veranda).
I looked at the breakfast buffet offering and it looked like left overs and just not very appealing and at that price point I suddenly wasn’t as hungry. Next, I stepped out onto the veranda of the Biddle Mansion and made my way to the pool. The gate was locked and there was a sign “Adults Only” but the pool looked just like the picture on the web and after a hotel employee unlocked the gate I took a closer look to find lots of debris from trees floating in the pool. We later inquired with the hotel staff about their policy on kids not being allowed at the outdoor pool and they informed us that in-fact that was their policy and it was non-negotiable.
Exploring further, I found an indoor pool and an exercise room. They were o.k. but old and not really anywhere I’d really like to spend any length of time. I headed back to the hotel room and pulled up information on Kykuit – I found out that it is closed Monday through Wednesday. Lyndhurst (I found out) is closed Tuesday and Wednesday. I also found out that to get tours of these places required advanced ticket purchases and Lyndhurst was fully booked already for that Monday. That left our travel day to NYC the only day we would be able to see Lyndhurst and Kykuit.
By this time, my wife and kids had awoke from their nap and were hungry. I informed them there were literally no food options at the hotel. Breakfast (which they wouldn’t want anyway) was over and their restaurant (Cellar 49) only opened for dinner. So we took a Lyft ride to RiverMarket Bar and Kitchen which is a short walk from the Hudson River. There we had an excellent lunch and enjoyed a stroll along the Hudson taking in views of NYC.
In the evening, when we got back to our hotel room, I decided to sit on an adirondack chair on the veranda of the Biddle Mansion while my family went to the hotel room to relax and watch some television. After an hour or so of enjoying the cool evening, I headed back to the room where my wife informed me that the toilet had started leaking from behind it’s tank. The hotel staff promptly allowed us to move to another hotel room a couple doors down. So finally late evening on Monday we were situated in our hotel room in Tarrytown.
No food options at the hotel, no kids allowed at the outdoor pool, going anywhere required a car ride, the attractions we came for were closed, and now with the issue with the hotel room we just had we decided to request from the hotel that we be allowed to only stay the one night. Again the hotel management were accommodating and we left for NYC the next morning. But not before a worker had started a generator in the courtyard which made for a noisy morning while trying to get some additional rest. To sum things up, the Tarrytown stay was almost a complete disaster.
However, the rest of the trip was way beyond expectations. We booked a room at the New York Marriott Downtown in Lower Manhattan. Our hotel room had a stellar view on the Statue of Liberty and the river. We would go on that week to see Wall Street, Federal Hall, Battery Park, Liberty Island, Ellis Island, the Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks, Central Park, The New York Public Library Stephen A. Schwarzman Building and much more. The fireworks alone were worth the trip and a once in a lifetime experience. We topped off our experience with a stay at the Marriott East Side and saw a Broadway play (Beetlejuice) the Saturday before leaving.
Now back from my trip and as I reflect on how at first all of my meticulous plans went sour I have an epiphany. All of the plans that I carefully made didn’t turn out. What I wanted didn’t transpire at all. I completely missed a portion of my trip that I really wanted to see. I had to abandon my plan and reinvent the first part of my trip ad hoc. Yet, without that “failure” we would have surely missed a once in a lifetime experience of seeing the 4th of July fireworks in NYC at the Brooklyn Bridge. And most likely we would not have seen all of the Lower Manhattan sights which are so iconic and rich in historical significance to our country. In short, the trip turned out much better because of the initial “disappointment” or “mistake.”
The epiphany is that life is like that too. Our vision of how things should be oftentimes doesn’t come to pass. The main difference is that instead of us realizing that our lives turned out better for our disappointments we usually hold on to negative emotions and feelings about these past “disappointments.” Sometimes for years.
Whether it was a job you didn’t get, a school you didn’t get accepted into, when you were overlooked for a promotion, a date that stood you up, false friends…..the list goes on and on and sometimes we let these disappointments define us in a negative way. We carry a sense of loss.
In Unlimited Power, Tony Robbins states that everything in life happens for a purpose and it serves us. That means that bad things serve us too. But, sometimes it just takes time to see the bigger picture and proper context for us to see the greater good. And aside from keeping yourself thinking positive about life its also vital that you don’t represent your lot in life as a losing when if fact you are winning. Then there’s absolutely no chance for happiness in life.
The Rolling Stones wrote “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” Its very true and I would add this: if you did not get what you wanted in certain aspects of your life, take another look back and evaluate your “disappointment” in the context that has since evolved. What are all of the blessings that came forth because of the things you couldn’t “get” in your life. Oftentimes you’ll find you not only got what you needed – but you did better. You got the bonus plan.
